Afternoon Crumbs

Neri Oxman, the MIT professor who was rumored to be doing Brad Pitt, says they’re not dating. But she called him “timeless” and said he’s “the last of the Mohicans in post-Netflix Hollywood.” Err, girl knows he did a Netflix movie, right? And she also said she carried a book called The Golden Record in front of the paps to promote science, “The Golden Record beats the Caviar quilted flap bag on any given day. Toting the ultimate message to moon was my message in a bottle to the paparazzi. The Feynman Lectures followed.” No wonder Neri and Brad didn’t really work out. I know Brad likes to think he’s fluent in the language of PretentiousAsFuck, but his brain probably shut down and issued a “does not compute” error whenever Neri talked – Celebitchy

That Real Housewife of Potomoc husband, who was accused of groping a cameraman, isn’t going to face any charges – Reality Tea

A luxury boutique hotel in Santa Barbara or Jesse Tyler Ferguson’s house? – Towleroad

If you’ve ever accused Backdoor Farrah of never displaying loads of demure elegance, then you’ve never seen these pictures of her Tupperware titty dome coming out of her blazer – Drunken Stepfather

The only correct answer to this headline question is: every female performance in Showgirls – Pajiba

What in hipster Amish Diane Keaton HELL is Olivia Wilde wearing? – Popoholic

One of the Pretty Little Liars had a pretty little baby, who isn’t a liar, that I know of – Just Jared

Pic: YouTube

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