Jesy Nelson has opened up on her repeated attempts to leave Little Mix before trying to take her own life.
The 28 year old recently bravely revealed how she attempted suicide following a performance with her bandmates after being horrifically trolled online.
She has now admitted that she tried to leave the band "a few times" with Perrie Edwards , 26, Jade Thirlwall , 26, and Leigh-Anne Pinnock , 27, stopping her.
Speaking on Capital Breakfast, she made the revelation to hosts Roman Kemp, Vick Hope and Sonny Jay.
Referring to her bandmates, she said: "For them it was hard as well because at the same time they’re living their dream, so to have someone in the band who was constantly down and depressed all the time.
"You don’t want that when you’re living your best life, and it was hard for them to be happy but then console me at the same time.
"At times I was so jealous of them. I was just so envious of how happy they were and I was like ‘I just want to know what it feels like to be happy.’ But I couldn’t, I couldn’t make myself happy."
She also admitted that her mum, Janice White, wanted her to leave the chart topping band, adding: "Mum wanted me to leave and come out of it, but I thought I'd draw more attention to myself if I did."
Janice recently emotionally opened up on how she wishes Little Mix had never become successful because she "lost her daughter".
Speaking on Jesy's documentary, Odd One Out, she says: "I always say I wish it was back to normal. I wish I could have life as it was and have my funny little Jess back.
"I am so proud and when I watch her on stage I get excited. I’m the loudest cheerer in the crowd.
"But as much as I love all that, and people must think how can you say that, if I could have my Jess back as she was before I’d change it like that. Not have The X Factor or any of that. Because I miss her.
Jesy Nelson, Katie Price and other strong women who have spoken out against cruel trolling
"I just kind of feel like I’ve lost Jess to social media. Addicted to what people are saying."
The mother and daughter duo look back through a photo album and at pictures of Jesy growing up on the show, with the pop star saying her mother would want her to go back to how she previously looked.
Janice says: "Sometimes I want to tell you for your own sake your make-up is looking too much. Like your eyelashes are too long. You don’t need to do that. Natural is the best.
"I wish you could see the way I see you without make-up on because I think you look lovely."
The documentary will air on Thursday night, one day after Jesy revealed that social media trolls — including Katie Hopkins — made her attempt to take her own life.
Jesy previously admitted she starved herself for almost a week before returning to The X Factor to perform as a special guest, but has now said she tried to kill herself just two days later.
Following her performance with her bandmates, Jesy scrolled through Twitter and found a flood of negative comments.
One of the tweets came from controversial Katie, who tweeted: "Packet Mix have still got a chubber in their ranks. Less Little Mix. More Pick n Mix."
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Speaking in her documentary Odd One Out, Jesy says of the tweets: "All I remember at that time is [thinking] what's the f**king point?
"I've starved myself for a week and I'm still getting called fat. I could be the skinniest girl in the world and this is never going to go away.
"That is the pinnacle point for me when I got severely depressed and it just spiralled out of control."
Breaking down in tears, Jesy continued: "I was sat in bed thinking 'this is never going to go. I'm going to constantly wake up and feel sad for the rest of my life so what is the point in being here? There is no point in waking up and feeling sad everyday'.
"I physically couldn't tolerate the pain anymore. It feels constantly constantly heartbroken. I remember feeling this has to go away and it was the first time I thought I'm going to do this, I'm going to end this.
"I remember going to the kitchen and I took as many tablets as I could. I just laid in bed for ages and thought 'hurry up and let it happen'.
"My ex who was with me at the time woke up and said 'why are you crying?' I said 'I just want to die. I just want it to go away'."
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